Please keep your shirt on, Bernie!


It’s awful hot these days. Any ideas for dinners that don’t require me to turn on the oven? Every time I bake or use the stove, Bernie takes his shirt ou, and everyone knows what a sight that is. The last time he took his shirt ou at the beach, he came home with harpoon marks.

Loretta Largehusband Dear Loretta:

I feel your pain! When I was a young lady growing up in beautiful Lublin, my friends were terrified to come to my house.

My dad had this notion that if he was in his own home that was paid for with his hardearned money, he was sure as heck going to be comfortable. I can still hear him giving the speech to this day! The shirt wasn’t so much of a problem, except when he’d unbutton it, but he’d sit in his La-Z Boy in his underpants.

“Nona, if your friends don’t like to see me in my underwear, tell them not to come over,” he’d bellow if I ever lodged a complaint. Back then, before the dawn of air conditioning, you saw a lot more flesh on old people than you do today. Now, for crying out loud, everywhere you go even in the summertime is freezing. Maybe they were sick of elder statesmen taking their shirts ou.

It was funny back then, because it was forbidden for a young lady to be seen in a mini skirt or a bikini, but the old guys had flab hanging out all over the place.

Now, some of the outfits that these young people wear, I sure don’t understand them. It used to only be plumbers that were flashing unexpected views of their backsides. Now, these young kids are walking around with their pants just about fall- ing ou. What are their parents thinking?

They could all use a good sturdy pair of suspenders.

Why not? They already look goofy as it is with those baggy pants and their hat turned sideways. They may as well put on suspenders and complete the clown outfit.

Then there’s the young ladies. Don’t get me started down that road. Back in my day, only the motorcycle gangs had tattoos. Now the sweet young girl at the cafe has one too. Next thing you know, the pastor is going to be wearing shorts!

Oh well, maybe I’m dating myself. You’re only as young as you feel, so maybe I need to start “sporting some ink” as the neighbor girl says of her tattoos. Maybe I’ll get a rolling pin on my arm. Maybe not! Here’s just the recipe for dealing with the summer heat!

Chicken Fruit Salad Ingredients: 1 cup low fat raspberry or strawberry yogurt 1/4 cup mayonnaise 2 Tbsp. Honey 4 cups tom butter lettuce l/2 lb. Sliced cooked chicken breast, cut into strips 1 cantaloupe, cubed 1 cup raspberries 1 cup blueberries


Combine yogurt, mayonnaise, and honey in a small bowl and whisk to blend. Chill. When ready to serve, place lettuce on serving platter. Top with chicken breast and fruit and drizzle with salad dressing. 4 servings.

This salad I found when I was on a trip to Arizona last year. It’s for the most daring among us!

Mango Cucumber Salad Ingredients 2 limes 1 cup very thinly sliced red onion 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes 1/4 teaspoon sugar 2 English cucumbers 1 medium to large mango 1/4 teaspoon sesame oil 2 tablespoons olive oil salt Directions

In a small bowl, juice the limes over the red onions. Add the red pepper flakes and sugar and gently combine.

Place in the refrigerator to chill and macerate. Meanwhile, thinly slice the cucumbers until you have about 4 cups. Place in a bowl, cover with ice, and refrigerate. Peel and dice the mango. Reserve. Remove the red onion and cucumber from the refrigerator and drain both, reserving the lime juice from the onions. In a shallow bowl, layer the cucumber slices, then the mango and top with the pickled red onions. Drizzle the oils, sprinkle with a pinch of kosher salt and toss gently, adding a bit of the reserved lime juice or more red pepper if desired. Serve immediately.

Makes 4 to 6 servings.





July 27, 2022