Nona: What’s the deal about this gluten thing? I’ve been cooking for my husband for 20 years. He’s a human garbage can. He would shovel anything I put before him down his gullet, and now he claims to be gluten intolerant.

I think he’s cheating on me.

Suspicious in Stanley Dear Suspicious.

He probably is. Dump him.

Ok, let’s think this through a little bit. I hear there’s a new rush on gluten intolerance around this time of year. That, and a lot of people trying to avoid Lutefisk dinners. They don’t go hand-in-hand. Lutefisk is just disgusting. Gluten is a common filler in wheat-based products.

It has become public enemy number one at the Lublin Medical Center and Instant Oil Change. Lublin’s new clinic just opened. Oil Can Hank’s daughter graduated from Medford Medical Academy and was on the waiting list for a job at the Gilman Clinic and Shoe Repair. His daughter is kind of a looker, and it seems that she gets most of the leads for her patients from dear old dad. It’s the only clinic I ever heard of where your fivepoint inspection can get sent through insurance. Well, Harry’s daughter, Gluten Free Gertie, kind of has a one-track mind.

Everyone of these guys getting free oil changes are told to cut out gluten and come back and see her in 3,000 miles.

So, Suspicious, I think this is really just a phase. As soon as Gertie gets in at the Gilman center, she’s going to keep offering oil changes with her gluten free advice. Until then, it may be time to give this gluten free thing a try. You can eat meat and veggies and potatoes. Just lay off the breads. Heck, the mister might even lose a little weight, and the diets aren’t all that difficult.

Here’s some other ideas to spice up the dinner table in gluten free style.

Cauliflower Pizza Crust Ingredients 1 head cauliflower, cored and separated into florets 1/2 cup water 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 ounces fresh goat cheese 1/2 ounce finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese 1 large egg 1 pinch cayenne pepper, or to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Puree cauliflower in a food processor until finely ground.

Cook ground cauliflower, water, and salt together in a skillet over medium-high heat until fragrant and most of the water evaporates, 5 to 6 minutes. Cool completely.

Transfer cauliflower to the center of a clean dish towel. Wrap and squeeze tightly to remove all excess moisture. You should have about 1 1/2 cups cauliflower pulp.

Stir cauliflower, goat cheese, Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, egg, and cayenne pepper together in a bowl to form a soft dough. Gather dough into a ball and place in the center of the prepared baking sheet. Press dough into circle about 1/4inch thick.

Bake in the preheated oven until golden brown and set, about 40 minutes. Cool and turn crust over before topping.

Chicken Zoodle Soup Ingredients

2 tablespoons olive oil 1 cup diced onions 1 cup diced celery 3 cloves garlic, minced 5 (14.5 ounce) cans lowsodium chicken broth 1 cup sliced carrots 3/4 pound cooked chicken breast, cut into bite sized pieces 1/2 teaspoon dried basil 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1 pinch dried thyme (optional) salt and ground black pepper to taste 3 zucchini squash, cut into 'noodles' using a spiral slicer or vegetable peeler

Directions

Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Saute onion, celery, and garlic in hot oil until just tender, about 5 minutes.

Pour chicken broth into the pot; add carrots, chicken, basil, oregano, thyme, salt, and pepper. Bring the broth to a boil, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer mixture until the vegetables are tender, about 20 minutes.

Divide zucchini 'noodles' between six soup bowls; ladle broth mixture over the 'noodles.'