On the verge of ‘elderly’

I just found out I’m on the verge of being elderly.

I hit 56 years of age with little fanfare this summer. I didn’t feel any older, but I sure as heck don’t feel any younger either.

I’m tired, but that is because of my schedule. There are three days a week where work requires me up both early and late. It takes me a couple days after that to regroup and recharge my batteries.

Now, maybe I know why. I am on the verge of being “elderly,” apparently.

I don’t know when I even entered middle-aged, but I guess I won’t be here for long. I was following news reports about a man who was missing, for whatever reason. It’s a terrible story in and of itself. It has nothing really to do with me, except that the man was described as “elderly.” He was in his upper 60s.

Now, back in the day when I had hair and it wasn’t white, I’m guessing I would have agreed that 68 was “old.” But elderly? In my mind, elderly is someone even a bit more seasoned. I’m still going to be working at 68, the Good Lord willing.

People are a lot more active today, so I think we need to update our labels. As it stands, some of the people I associate and even socialize with are elderly, under this standard. I won’t stand for that. I can’t be hanging out with old people. That looks bad.

If we can slide that “elderly” term back another decade or so, I’ll feel a lot better about myself.

It’s bad enough being 56, not that I really mind it overall. It beats the alternative, as they say, of not being around when you’re 56.

And when you’re better than 50, you have to start doing more “adult” things. I scheduled a physical, so I’m going to have to start getting things checked that I’ve always just assumed would work right forever.

Right now, I’m pretty sure I can live forever. By this time next week that could have changed. By then, I’ll most certainly have the results of this physical.

I don’t even know what cholesterol is, so I’m hoping mine isn’t high. I know I have a family history of it.

I haven’t had my blood pressure officially checked in some time, except at one of those machines at the pharmacy that just about squeezed my arm off while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled. It was good then.

Who knows what else they’ll test for. I’m expecting the worst.

By this time next week, I could be elderly.