Nona: How's the fishing?

Lure Larry Larry: You're not going to lure me down that path. Larry used to always try to get me to go fishing with him, only he'd pretend we were going somewhere else, but by the end of the day, he was always on the shore of Loch Lublin, with a worm at the end of his hook.

Larry used to be one of this fair city's most eligible bachelors. We used to call him Larry the Looker. He could have hooked any one of the best looking ladies in town, but all he wanted was a walleye. Or a bluegill. Or a perch. Or a carp, even for crying out loud. His head is full of the same thing as his tackle box: lead sinkers.

Anyway, back in the good old days, Larry used to come calling on my friend, Beatrice Baitshooks, and the two of them looked like quite an item. Beatrice was known through all of the

southern part of western Taylor County for her ability to lure fish through her specialty baits. Her dad actually knew someone who fixed Babe Winkleman's brother's boat, so you knew they were serious about their fishing. Once one of these outdoor shows was going to film a segment on Beatrice's bait secrets, but she wouldn't let them, because then it wouldn't be a secret. It was long said around these parts that Beatrice's bait was the town's only real secret. None of the ladies at the beauty parlor knew her secret bait. The boys at the feed mill were stumped, and the happy hour crowd at Stosh's spent many an evening trying to crack Beatrice's secret. It was better than when they were trying to see who could burp more letters of the alphabet. Billy the Belcher won that but was thrown out on a technicality. He mixed up a couple letters. It's something that's still argued about to this day

at Stosh's.

Anyway, back to Beatrice and Lunkhead Larry. For a while, it really looked like true love. Larry would pick up Leinenkugel's and minnows, and they would row out on the lake. Larry had ulterior motives, though. He only loved Beatrice for her ability to bait his hook. Once she figured that out, it was man overboard!

Larry's looking for other ladies to take him fishing.

Corn Avocado Salad Ingredients

3 ears sweet corn 1 sweet red pepper 1 small red onion 3 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 tablespoon lime juice 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt 1/4 teaspoon cayenne (optional) 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

the population disappears into the woods of the Great Lublin National Forest. Every 6.2 seconds you hear a gun shot, and the folks head into town for three reasons: to register their kill, for more beer and because the Packers are on TV.

So, to get an accurate population count around here, they have to count at around Christmas.

1 cup cilantro leaves 2 avocados

Directions

Cut the kernels from the ears of corn and put in a large bowl (I like to cut the kernels off working with the ear set into a large bowl to catch them all as they fall off). Dice the red pepper and the red onion and add them to the corn kernels. Ideally, you'll cut the pepper and the onion into a dice that's close to the size of corn kernels for a most pleasing texture.

In a small bowl or measuring cup, combine the oil, lime juice, vinegar, salt,

cayenne, and pepper. Stir or whisk the mixture until it's well combined. Pour it all over the corn mixture. Toss to coat the vegetables evenly and thoroughly.

Mince the cilantro leaves and add them to the salad/salsa. Toss the salad/salsa again to combine. (Note: This can be made up to this point up to a day in advance. Cover and chill until about an hour before serving. Allow the salad/salsa to come to room temperature before serving.) Just before serving, peel and dice the avocado.