The Stanley-Boyd Drama Club recently put on ‘Miss Nelson is Missing,’ and with that in mind we took some notes, as well as lessons away.

Want a nice teacher? That would be Miss Nelson, the gentle fourth grade teacher in Room 207.

Want strict classroom discipline and students who listen? That would be Miss Swamp–also Miss Nelson, but in disguise. Following a discussion with Principal Humlinger (Joseph Humlinger) on the need for classroom discipline and test scores, Miss Nelson doesn’t show up one day—but Miss Swamp (Olivia Osvold) does. Recess is suddenly out, and advanced arithmetic is in. Kindly Miss Nelson had asked her fourth graders tudents to simply add one plus one to get two.

Not so Miss Swamp. She quickly puts at least two students in their places.

“We both like to think we’re in charge of everything and boss people around,” said George (Riley Weltzin) of him and a character named Mouse (Blake Paul). They soon learn differently from Miss Swamp, at which point, it’s time for math at the board!

“One plus one, minus one, plus one, plus two, minus three, plus four, plus five…times seven, times eight, divided by nine, factored by the square root of the previous sum multiplied by the division of two times the cube of the hypotenuse minus the multiplication of two rhomboids and the long side of the circumference of a four-sided triangle.” She barks out. “Times up!” Bewildered and/or frozen in shock, the students each make a guess, or write that Miss Swamp is mean.

But while the class in Room 207 is taken aback at the sudden change in teaching, there were foreshadows from Miss Nelson, like a story about an insect that is two different things at different times in its life. Miss Nelson (Caroline Johnson) gave her thoughts on the story’s meaning.

“Basically the whole example is that I'm the butterfly and she (Miss Swamp) is the caterpillar they had originally, but I came back,” she said. As to where Principal Hum- linger sits, Miss Nelson affirmed he was in on the plan.

“He’s in the plan,” she said of Humlinger. “He thinks it’s a good idea.” As to students, the cast members were “I don’t like Miss Swamp,” the actress who plays said character was told by a student upon reading the story to local kindergartners. But while the secret is mostly kept on who Miss Swamp really is, there are some in the class who realize the truth, if somewhat late in the show.

“My character is supposed to be the nerd,” says Raymond (Caleb Beltoya). “He’s smarter and not taken seriously.” Raymond and another student eventually figure things out, while the rest of the class remains in the dark. Initially thinking that Miss Swamp kidnapped Miss Nelson due to a book Miss Swamp has that Miss Nelson never let sight of, the discovery on their own after the students seek out Detective McSmogg, a man they quickly lose confidence in for his seeming lack of intelligence, if not humor.

“Teachers make a lot of money,” McSmogg says. “I’ll bet they want a big ransom, maybe 40 or 50 dollars.” After breaking into the school over the weekend to go find Miss Nelson-who briefly makes a cam – eo off to the side with a butterfly net and Detective McSmogg—the big test day arrives on Monday and each student in Room 207 gets an A, shortly after which Miss Nelson walks in the classroom. So does Detective McSmogg, from the other direction.

“I’m searching for someone else,” he says after the students ask what he’s up to show him Miss Nelson. “Miss Swamp is missing!”

The class cheers, including Miss Nelson.

Kimberly wants to be a supermodel, and thinks they don’t have to spell.

Principal Humlinger and Miss Nelson discuss discipline isues in class

Miss Swamp arrives with 12 hours of homework a night and 200 pages on weekends.

Raymond stands up to George outside Miss Nelson’s House as the kids go looking for their old teacher.

Breaking into school after hours to look for clues. ‘We’ll be found not guilty by reason of insanity.’

Miss Nelson suddenly returns after the big test Monday. All her students made the grade.

Detective McSmogg announces Miss Swamp is missing, resulting in class cheers.All photos by Joseph Back.